My Glastonbury

Midway through the Saturday afternoon on Glastonbury 2015 and I can't help feeling that something is missing. So here's my fantasy set of artists for a Saturday evening. One hour each, from the period each artist was at its height. Quite strict running order, the later artists perhaps get an encore so perhaps things would over run slightly.Ten minutes for the roadies to clear the stage and get the next set of artists on. 5pm til 2.30 am!

1. The Cramps (1981) - 5pm- 6.00

Poison Ivy, Lux Interior. Kid Congo, if he was in the band at that point. They'd do Human Fly, The Way I Walk, Domino and whatever else they fancied. Lux would do the set topless and spend most of the set with the microphone inserted down his leather trousers and get led offstage in a less than dignified James Brown tribute. Some of the crowd would be slightly bewildered by what they'd seen but there'd be plenty of orderlies around to lead them off to the hospitality tent to be revived.

2. R.E.M. (1985) 6.10-7.10

Trust me. They were just great round about this point in time. Michael Stipe with his hair bleached blond and 'dog' written on his forehead in black crayon. Peter Buck, a more restrained Townshend. Halfway between The Who and The Byrds. They'd play a selection from Fables and Reckoning. Throw in Radio Free Europe, Pilgrimage, Gardening At Night and a cover or two. There'd make some conversions in an initially sceptical crowd.

3. The Patti Smith Group (1976)- 7.20 -8.20

Proper Hippie / Punks. Choice cuts from Horses and Radio Ethiopia with some beat poetry thrown in, a bit of shamanism and plenty of rebel rousing about realising your purpose on the planet.

4. Prince & The Revolution (1985) - 8.30-9-30

A mid-evening set, quite capable of stealing the whole show. Purple Rain, When Doves Cry, Kiss, Dirty Mind, Let's Go Crazy, Raspberry Beret and whatever else they wanted to play. Plenty of ludicrous guitar trickery. The crowd at the end of the set not sure to believe what they'd just seen.

5. Creedence Clearwater Revival (1970) - 9.40-10.40

Given a year to bounce back from their Woodstock disappointment but now having to up their game to follow Prince's band. They'd do plenty from Cosmo's Factory to complement their big hits from the earlier couple of years. The band would play a blinder, a tightly oiled unit, would leave the stage with their personal friendships cemented for life and a small unnecessary personal tragedy would be averted. 

6. The Clash (1979) 10.50-11.50

It would start raining and they'd come on and play London Calling just like in the video. Plenty more of what you'd expect from the preceding albums and Strummer would connect with the audience to prevent any lull in proceedings as the sun comes out again.

7. Sly & The Family Stone (1969) 12.00-1.00

Prince and Sly would swap tips backstage. The band would slay the crowd with positivity and invention and hit after hit. Quite clearly one of the best bands ever to walk the boards.

8. The Who (1969) 1.10- 2.30

A small concession to Glastonbury in 2015. The band as they originally were and were meant to be. Keith Moon flailing, Daltrey in full costume and Townshend windmilling. The Velvet Underground & Nico, Dexys, Public Enemy, Elvis Costello & the Attractions, The Fela Kuti Band, an early incarnation of Nirvana and The Smiths on the other stages to divert those not pulled in by the main draw. All in all, a night not to be forgotten. 

Oh well, back to reality! Perhaps Kanye West will erase all this from my memory banks.