We all miss out on essential lives. Our essential vocations. My essential vocation was to dream I suspect. Mu 91 year old parents sit together in the living toom with a set of pictures of their children to their right. There's a photo of me which I think is the essential photogtaph of my lifetime .
It shows me walking down a garden path in Zimbabwe towards the swimming pool at the bottom of the garden. Chameleons in the trees. Banana tree ahead of me. Africa in all its verdant majesty and vibrant life all around me. I have a far away look in my eyes. A dreamer. I doubt if I will ever escape my essential self. I doubt if anyone does really.
My other essential selves are. Working in record shops. I've never done that so. I haunt them instead.I lack ambituin except to live. Collecting records. Collecting experience. Teaching now online. Reaping the rich harvest of life abroad. Experience life. As i said teaching. Learning .First in class. Now online. Every class is dofferent. Every time you play a record the experience is never the same
I should have been in a band. I would have been in a band loke The Clean. Minor Cult players. Not the big boys. Velvet Underground, Doors, Roxy Music, Joy Division. Essentially happy. But aware that life is a mountain path and the road is the long and winding one and we could trip and fall at any moment. Don't point that thing at me!
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