It's November. Never the cheeriest month on the calendar. It's also the year of my 60th Birthday. Not you might imagine the cheeriest birthday of a man's lifetime. But I'm having a great year. So to celebrate. Here's a month of songs that have meant something to me on my journeys around the sun. Starting as all stories must. In childhood.
I've had plenty of teaching material drawn from Snow White & The Seven Dwarves in my online lessons over the last couple of months. Back to the innocence of childhood we've journeyed. Innocence.? Who are you kidding. A jealous stepmother who tries to murder her stepdaughter.. For what crime. The crime of being more beautiful than her. Because her mirror tells her? Haven't you heard of Fake News lady?
Anyway the beautiful stepdaughter escapes her certain fate and flees. Into the forest where she finds an idyllic country cottage. In a glade. Owned by seven adorable little men who make their living chipping away at candlelit seams. In a local jewel mine. So what does she do. She moves in with them. Clearly not so innocent after all. Never mind. She can sing them songs. Tell them bedtime stories. I'm sure it's completely above board. Just don't tell The Daily Mail.
Anyhow the wicked Stepmother has found out she's been deceived by the treacherous hunter who showed her the heart of a deer he'd killed and told him it was Snow White's . Listen you can't trust anyone these days. Least of all employees on the minimum wage.
So she brushes her hands down, disguises herself as a Pedlar. No don't check Deeple or other. translation dictionaries. It's probably all been farmed out to AI Pedlars or something of the sort. So she makes her way into this glade and offers Snow White an apple. On the house love. You betcha.! Of course. It's poisoned. Snow White collapses with a dramatic swoon.
The Dwarves are heartbroken. Naturally ! Who's going to make their porridge? They place Snow White in a Glass Coffin. All the rage. And gather around it. Bawling their eyes out. But fear not. Here comes Prince Charming. Charming perhaps but also clearly an opportunist. Check the tabloids. It's still all the rage.
So cometh the hour. Cometh the man. Prince Charming strides up to the coffin. And without further ado and steals a kiss. What necrophilia . As a divine right. What kind of story is this? Still it works. He's clearly a good kisser. Snow White awakens in her dreamboat's arms . The wedding date is set. And you guessed it. They all lived happily ever after.
Never mind ! I loved this song. Tom Waits covered it. He recognised it for what it was; a capitalistic yarn of toil and labour. Of happy labourers, singing to and from work. At least they're a cooperative. And Snow White doubtless gets a diamond ring for upcoming nuptials.
For the record. One of the few childhood parties I remember was a Snow White & The Seven Dwarves party. Rachel Brien. The cutest girl in my Primary School class. Bonny curls and dainty freckles. I loved Rachel Brown. Her parents had a party. And asked her to invite her seven favourite boys to come along as the dwarves. Who was I? Dopey probably.
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